Mary's Boy Child, Jesus Christ

Was born on Christmas Day. He was. Truly. Because if we were unsure about the order of events, the restaurant in the Galaxy Hotel, Gurgaon, was prepared to set us straight. We arrived at 1.15, a full 15 minutes later than our booking (see, we're making small inroads into that Indian timekeeping thing), to discover there was only one other couple at the restaurant, and they weren't ready to eat yet. As we walked in, Boney M were singing Mary's Boy Child. We were shown to our seats, funky white leatherette numbers and asked if we'd like mineral water. Now water is essential during the summer to prevent dehydration, but it's now winter, and it's a whole 21 degrees celcius. 21 degrees shouldn't feel cold, but in Delhi 21 degrees feels as cold as 26 degrees feels a bit warmer than pleasant in London. Strange that. Anyway, it's Christmas, and we decide we should have wine. We've never ordered wine in a restaurant in India before, because we've never seen a bottle on the wine list that cost less than 3,000 rupees. That's more than £40 ($63 USD/$100 AUD). We ask to see the wine list, and are pleasantly surprised to be told red or white imported wine is included in the buffet price. Red, we chorus. The wine guy (sommelier is surely a step too far) proudly shows us the label, and boasts it's French, Piat d'Or. We've never drunk Piat d'Or by choice before, because in Tesco we could buy it for £3.69 a bottle. But we're not shopping in Tesco, we're in Delhi, so Piat d'Or is perfect. Rod and I smile at each other, and to the sounds of Boney M's Mary's Boy Child, go up to the buffet for our cold first course (smoked salmon, salami, mozzarella and tomato slices, crudites). The first course is perfect. So the wine guy refills our wine glasses and while Boney M sings Mary's Boy Child, we go up to fill our plates with Roast Turkey, cranberry sauce, brussel sprouts, baby carrots, asparagus, broccoli and garlic fried potato cubes. We sit down, and Rod remarks the music selection is a little limited. They're playing Mary's Boy Child every second song he says. Are they, I answer, what's the other song? Upon reflection, all four of us cannot name the other song they're playing between Mary's Boy Child. We then come to the conclusion that the only Christmas song they own is Mary's Boy Child. If only I had one of my Christmas compilations in the car, then we could inject a little variety into the mix - Cliff Richard, anyone?

The restaurant manager comes over to ask us how we're enjoying our meal. Thalia turns to him, smiles, flashes her not quite 12 year old blue eyes and asks, do you have any other music to play? He leaves, and once Mary's Boy Child has come to the end, we hear the opening chords to Johnny Mathis' "When A Child is Born". Result! But before Johnny gets to do more than hum, he is replaced by Boney M singing Jingle Bells. Boy they like Boney M at the Galaxy Hotel.

We finish up with a third glass of wine and the dessert selection. Mince Pies, Plum Pudding, Yule Log, Butterscotch Cream Parfait, Bitter Chocolate Slice, Chocolate Pyramids sprinkled with flaked almonds, Sugar Free Strawberry Cream Choux Buns. Because it's important to show a little restraint.

The bill came to 1,400 rupees a person, extremely good value. Our only complaints: well, as nice as they are, garlic fried potato cubes are no substitute for roast potatoes...and I've now heard enough Boney M to last me a lifetime!