Banned Aid- Do They Know it's Christmas?

All I was trying to do, Officer, was buy a Christmas present for my husband. I wasn't trying to incite civil unrest, honest. I wasn't trying to purchase illegal goods, either.

Rod's never easy to buy for, hey what man is? So when I worked out there was something he could use, something he often spoke of wanting but hadn't purchased yet, I was really pleased with myself. I'd buy him an Atlas for Christmas. Then every time we had one of those conversations about how far away such and such a country was, we'd have a reference book to look it up in. Last week, for example, it was Mozambique and Belize. Can you see how the atlas came to mind?

So, while I was searching (unsuccessfully) for the perfect diary last week, I was also checking out the Atlases. As it turns out, that was also an unsuccessful quest. I did find a few, but they were all school atlases, and much more juvenile than I wanted. This was a present for my husband, and I like him too much to hand him a kid's book for Christmas. I mean, what subliminal message does that give? Ever so helpful assistants would show me, after I told them I wanted a grown up atlas, a book described on the cover as an atlas. Inside, in a book obviously designed for an 11 year old, were lots of facts of the type used in school projects, and outline maps of countries. The maps didn't show which countries were next to each other, or the size of the countries in relation to each other. I remember handing in a project when I was 11 and I drew a map like that. My teacher, Mrs Anstee, commented that the map looked like a fried egg and was as useful as one. You can't tell where it is in the world, she said, and if you can't tell that, it's not a good map. I don't remember what country my project was on, but I remembered the lesson for 30 years. She was right, of course,so I couldn't buy those atlases. I told them I wanted a traditional atlas that showed maps: Collins; Oxford; Readers Digest. They look on their high, dusty shelves and shake their heads. So off to the next bookshop I trudge.

On Wednesday at Galleria, I asked for an atlas for an adult, one that had more maps in it than other text. The lady says "Maps of India?" "No", I reply, "the world. I want the world!" She laughed, and told me with an attitude like that I'd get what I asked for. She was wrong. She offered to order a Collins atlas for me, I could collect it Monday. Well, today's Monday, and the atlas has not arrived. "The weekend happened", she told me. No Sh*t Sherlock, that catches me out all the time too!

There's another bookshop at Galleria, so rather than wait for an atlas to arrive at a bookshop that seems surprised by the concept of a weekend, I thought I'd try there. They had the usual kid type atlases, but understood completely the kind of atlas I wanted (one with maps, perchance!). The man there offered to get one in for me. He even understood that I wanted it in time for Christmas. This afternoon he phoned me. There's bad news. He can't get me a Collins, Oxford or Readers Digest atlas, because the Indian Government has banned them. The Government doesn't agree on the where some of the borders have been drawn (that'll be Jammu and Kashmir then), so the atlases are illegal. It just might be possible, he says, to find an edition published in 2005. They're not banned. It's only the ones printed 2006 or later that are banned. Having trawled most of the bookshops in Gurgaon already, I know there aren't any Collins, Oxford or Readers Digest atlases out there. I could buy a contraband atlas on Amazon and get it sent here. Or I could go to Pakistan and buy one there. If the Indian Government's complaining about the borders, it's fair to assume the Pakistanis are fairly pleased with them!