Fernando's such a generous guy

Rod is off in Amsterdam at IBC, so I had the kids to entertain by myself. On Saturday I decided we'd go to the Ambience Mall. It's the largest shopping mall in India (one kilometre of shops on each of three levels), so as you can imagine, Thalia is pleased with this choice. Keir, unusually, is also happy. They have a Bungee Buddies at Ambi Mall, a trampoline and harness contraption, that can bounce you up and down really quite high for two whole stomach churning minutes. I chose the Ambi Mall not for the three kms of shops or the Bungee Buddies but because I'd heard the Renault F1 car would be there, and that we could be photographed with it.

We get there early (for India) just after 11am. There's hardly any body there. We stroll up to the F1 car, and find that while there is a decent crowd gathered there, all but a handful are wearing ING shirts, one of Renault's sponsors and the company who have brought the car to the mall. We wander around it, waiting for someone to ask us what we want. Invariably in India, when you go shopping, a shop assistant will come and stand right beside you and ask you what you want. Sometimes this is helpful, because sometimes you need assistance. Often it is not, because:

1. You are perfectly able to choose products off the shelf in front of you by yourself. I had my hand on a toothbrush in one shop when an assistant came up and said "Madam, can I help you?" "No", I answered. "I'm perfectly capable of choosing my own toothbrush".

2. You would be able to pick your preferred product off the shelf if only there wasn't an assistant standing in your way. Rod's trick here is to wait a moment and then walk into them mock accidentally.

3. If you do ask them where to find a product you cannot see, nine times out of ten they will show you something completely random. I'm all for a little bit left field, but if, for example, you were unable to choose your own toothbrush and asked for assistance, you'd expect to be shown a toothbrush. You'd understand if they also showed you some toothpaste, but might fail to grasp the logic in being shown an apple, or a lawn mower.

Anyway, I digress. Back to waiting for one of the many ING shirt wearing people to ask us what we want. No one does. I have to go up to the man behind the red rope to ask him how we could get our photo taken with the car. I have to fill out a form, yes please, send the photo here, and no thank you, I don't want any of your banking, insurance or asset management advice. We eagerly await the postman, but here's a top view, just like a pit stop but without all the fit men in leather (damn!)

I have an interesting conversation with one of the ING guys.

"This isn't the Renault race car", I say.

"Yes it is", he replies.

"No, it's not this year's race car, is it? That's in Monza. I'm going home this afternoon to watch Qualifying on the telly."

He propped Keir on one of the tyres and Thalia on the other. "This is the Renault race car", he said confidently, as if I was expected to believe Fernando Alonso would allow his car to be sat on in Gurgaon, India, on the same day he was supposed to be qualifying in it for the Italian Grand Prix in Monza, Italy. Maybe he sent Nelson Piquet's car...